"Wait! You're moving?!"

You know how kids can sometimes be in their own worlds and have no idea what anyone around them is talking about? For the past several months, I've been talking to the family I nanny for about my upcoming move to Hungary. All the kids know about it. At least, I thought they all knew.

During lunch a couple of weeks ago, I was talking to the kids about something Hungary related. I don't even remember exactly what we were talking about. Anyway, at some point I used the word "move" and suddenly the eight year old boy piped up and said, "Wait! You're moving?!"

Woah. He really didn't know? We've talked about it for months! We all laughed and thought he was just kidding. But, that day, when I mentioned getting an apartment in Budapest, it clicked in his little mind that I'm not just going on a trip to Hungary like I have for the past two summers. Finally, he realized that I'm going for much longer than just the summer. For him, knowing that I'm moving into an apartment made it seem real.

I've had lots of moments the past couple of weeks that have made my upcoming departure seem more real. It all started when the six year old I watch asked me if I'd remember her name when I move. Cue the tears! That's the first time I've cried about leaving. In the past weeks, she's asked me no less than five times: "Are you really going? Like for real?" In the past, I've just replied with "It's still really far away." But now it's not, and I can't say that to her. At the end of May, I'll have my last day with this family and I'm already dreading that day.

It's when the kids ask me emotional questions that I have to remember why I'm going. God has called me to serve as an English teacher in Budapest. I'm going out of obedience. Telling the kids that I'm leaving to share God's love with Hungarian students helps them understand that I'm not just ditching them. They know why I'm going. When we're sad that we only have mere weeks left together, it helps to remember that God is our comfort and He's with me and the kids during this transition. I'm excited to follow God's call to missions in Hungary, but that doesn't mean that I'm excited about having to leave these sweet kids that are practically family.

So, yes, I'm really moving, and in a lot of ways, it's just started to click for me that in a matter of three months I'll transition from the job title of "nanny" to "teacher." I'll be in a new city, new job, new culture--new everything. It's a lot for me to process, so I can understand why it's hard on the kiddos I'm leaving.